When feedback catches you off guard, your first impulse may be to explain your intentions. Pause before doing that. You can say, “I want to understand what happened from your perspective.” This acknowledges the conversation without pretending you already agree with every detail or know what the solution should be.

Ask for a specific example and listen to its effect. “When did you feel I had already made the decision?” is more useful than asking someone to prove you are a bad listener. Reflect back the point in your own words and check whether you understood it. This is the receiving side of keeping feedback close to observable behavior.

If you remember the event differently, separate the facts you need to check from the impact being described. You might acknowledge that a meeting felt closed to input while reviewing how the decision was communicated. Avoid demanding that the person reassure you; your position as their manager can make disagreement difficult enough already.

Choose one concrete adjustment and tell the person when you will revisit it. If you responded defensively in the moment, use a short repair conversation to reopen the discussion. Following through on the adjustment matters more than delivering an impressive response in the first meeting.